oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
