i don't like sucking hair
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
