I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
