it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
