dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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