But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
