First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
