I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize