It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
