So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize