we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
