Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
