Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
