Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize