So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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