I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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