It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
