my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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