Fuck appropriateness.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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