i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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