She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
