On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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