Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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