sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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