She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
