kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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