Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
