We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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