Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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