i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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