So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
