I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
