I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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