"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
