I CAN MOONWALK!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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