you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize