You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
