Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
