I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
