Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
