His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
