So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize