I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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