Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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