I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize