did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
