TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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