Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize