Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
