I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
