If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
