I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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