I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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