no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
