dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Randomize
