DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
