So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
