How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
