Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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