oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
