She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
