You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
