You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
