You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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